Image Credit: Amy Miller

The mother-daughter relationship is undoubtedly a special one. This woman is your life’s blood, your earliest companion, and, if you’re lucky, your closest confidante. And I got lucky: my mum and I have always been rather close. When I was younger and my dad worked long shifts at the hospital, as a pair we would often while our days away swimming at the beach or walking down winding trails. In this way I slowly learnt to appreciate the views of the natural world, and I did so alongside one wonderful woman. The adventures didn’t stop at home; family holidays to beautiful places like Cornwall and Dorset joined the mix, and they have formed many of my dearest memories ever since. 

 The older I get, it seems, the less frequent such trips become. Though there are many reasons for this, the most obvious is that I live and study away from home, making mother-daughter travels less practical. And this independence does not only prevail in a literal sense; as a student and part-time worker, I am getting used to taking trips with other valued companions such as my boyfriend or my housemates. Nonetheless, I continue to crave closeness to and quality time with my mum like no other. So, in a bid to satisfy this craving, the two of us planned and embarked on two trips this summer. 

In June, to celebrate my surviving second year, we took a roadtrip around the east coast of Ireland. The 3am wakeup was rough, of course – but having been apart for three months, even the most gruelling moments were to be cherished. As can be expected, upon our arrival in Dublin we made a beeline for the nearest pub, the best place to source a pint of Guinness for me and a G&T for mum. This is how many of our hours away were spent, sipping on our respective drinks, chatting, and playing cards. Admittedly, this is how much of our time is spent at home, but it is no secret that even the most mundane activities become special on holiday. In the absence of academic or work-related pressure, we were able to enjoy our time together without any caveats. 

Dublin was undoubtedly beautiful, but it is the next stage of the trip that began to form the most special memories for me. With no hotels or excursions booked, we decided to hire a car and make our own uneducated way down to Cork, the city from which we’d be catching a flight home at the end of the week. Our cluelessness was a blessing: we simply picked Wicklow as a suitable stop-gap and worked in that direction, stopping whenever we saw a landmark we’d like to capture. 

My mum and I at one such landmark, the Great Sugar Loaf

Image Credit: Amy Miller

Despite appearances, I am a rather anxious person and am not at all known for my spontaneity. In fact, a month or so before our departure I could be found meticulously researching hotels, landmarks, and routes; it was only when I called my mum and was met with complete calm that I accepted the amorphous, unplanned nature of this Irish holiday – and I’m so glad I did! To surrender to the unknown is to open yourself up to new opportunities and experiences. On the last day of our trip, for example, we came to a fork in the road. My mum shouted, “Left or right?” and by picking a right turn I led us to the Mitchelstown caves, a beautiful historical site and a filming location for The Vikings – this fact brought my mum a great deal of joy. 

Alas, this article is not just a chance for me to reminisce; it is also an attempt to encourage you to travel with your mum. I am, of course, talking to young adults specifically. The memories we make on childhood holidays are certainly valuable, but they are inherently different to those we make as 20-year-olds. My frontal lobe is not yet fully developed, but it’s on its way – and this means my mum and I are more like friends than anything else. This became clear to me on our second summer trip- that is, a two-night getaway to the Cotswolds. The area is famous for its gorgeous lakes, and on a sunny morning we came across one boasting kayaks to hire. This was a dream for me but a nightmare for my mum, for whom large bodies of water cause panic and who hasn’t joined me in the sea for years. I eventually managed to convince her the activity was safe and we spent the morning on the lake, an experience my mum has recounted as wonderfully calming many times since. 

The view from our kayak

Image Credit: Amy Miller

This anecdote may seem small, but it is one that lives close to my heart: I managed to help my mum out of her comfort zone, giving her the reassurance she always provided for my younger self. This is exactly why I believe that, as we grow up, we should create and treasure time away with our mothers. As small children we take holidays for granted – and while this is not our fault, I think we’d do well to make up for it as we mature. In time, we can become active participants in familial relationships and intentionally work towards the creation of new memories. One way to do so is to introduce our mothers to our own interests, which was my aim with the kayaking excursion. Travelling is a crucial experience for all of us, and at this age it presents us with an opportunity to nourish perhaps our most important relationship; do not pass up this chance!